Word count: ~2800
Warnings: Language, smut, anxiety about getting caught, orientation confusion
It’s been almost two years since Blaine kissed Rachel and decided once and for all that he’s one hundred percent gay, and that label was entirely, unquestionably correct until about fifteen minutes ago.
He’s not sure what it is about practicing the latest Cheerios routine with Tina tonight. He’s seen girls in the skimpy red and white uniform before and failed to be distracted by their legs and hips and asses. He’s had close female friends, and felt an innocent platonic intimacy with them without wondering if it meant something more. He’s danced with girls in Glee, spun them around and held them close, without wanting to kiss their necks or let his hands stray below the waist.
But somehow the combination of having been single and free to date for a couple months now, and trying to master this hip-gyration move with his pelvis up against Tina’s ass, feeling sore-muscled, sweaty and joyful, grooving to the beat in her basement… Well, it’s got his mind straying to less-than-pure thoughts.
“Oh my god!” She laughs, exasperated and juts her butt out against him. “Just do it on beat with the song, right, then left, then right, and I will too, and I promise, it’ll look fine. It’s only weird when we try to go opposite directions.”
“Okay. Okay,” he grips her hips and shifts his weight on his feet, nodding along with the song. “One, two, three, four -“
They move together for the first couple beats, right, then left, but he’s thrown off again by the friction against his cock, which has been showing increasing interest over the past several minutes. It’s legitimately half-hard by now, pressed in tight between their bodies.
Tina squeaks and goes still for a moment. She slowly turns to look at him, blushing red. “You know…” Her eyes crinkle as she tries not to grin. “I think maybe we need to try that again.”
His face goes hot and he clears his throat. He nods mutely as she gets back into position, pressing back against him with purpose now. He clenches his teeth and resists the urge to thrust forward. “One, two, three, four -“
This latest attempt is a disaster, he has absolutely no rhythm, and he just ends up rocking sideways in an awkward full-body slide against her butt, which feels incredible on his twitching cock but is immediately mortifying. He stumbles backward to try to get away and regain some dignity. She turns and grabs his arm - “Hey, no, it’s okay -” and strokes his bicep soothingly. She still seems more amused than anything.
He tries to laugh it off, shaking his head, and ends up with his face unexpectedly close to hers. He looks down at her parted lips, and licks his own, flitting his gaze up to her eyes and back down again. They both hold still, even the steady thud-thud-thud of the music around them no match for the thudding of his heart as he inches torturously slowly toward her. This is the moment that could change everything -
Blaine blinks and jerks back. Tina’s eyes widen and she calls back up the stairs. “Yeah, Mom?”
“I’m going to bed now. Don’t stay up too late!”
Tina rolls her eyes. “Okay, goodnight!”
“Goodnight, Mrs. Cohen-Chang!” Blaine listens to the footsteps getting softer, heading further away from the top of the basement stairs, as his racing heart gradually gets back under control. He rubs one hand over his face and then up to smooth his hair, sighing heavily.
Tina laughs. “I’m gonna turn the music off. We’re probably done for the night anyway.”
“Yeah, good idea.”
She does so, thankfully without mentioning any of what just happened, and they both get onto the floor to stretch. He bends forward to touch his toes, then side to side with his arms over his head, then gets up onto his knees and bends backward to stretch his abs… The entire time he’s stretching, he feels like his semi-erection is incredibly obvious in his thin uniform pants. There might as well be a giant arrow with flashing lights pointing directly at it. Meanwhile Tina lies on her back with one knee up and hugs her leg to her body. “Can you help me?”
“Sure.” He shuffles over to her, right by her crotch, in the perfect position to be encircled by her legs, were she to choose to do so. He puts both hands on her thigh and pushes gently until her knee is pressed against her chest, and holds it there, feeling her smooth skin and watching her muscles, tense and tight. She curls up a bit further, raising her ass up off the floor to get a deeper stretch, and he can’t take his eyes off her red uniform briefs, which look like panties. He can see the creases in her skin at the top of her thigh, disappearing under the fabric. Her lady parts are right there.
“Okay. Now the other one.”
He helps her ease her leg to the floor beside him, and for a moment she’s lying there, knees up, legs spread, right in front of him, as if they’re going to fuck. Then she raises her other leg and he puts his hands on it to press it down. He can’t get over how smooth her skin is under his palms.
His mind races with incredibly inappropriate images of closing the distance between them and grinding against her ass. He could probably come just from that. Maybe she would masturbate at the same time.
God, what is going on with him? He’s never been with a girl before, but an ass is an ass, right? It’s a pretty gender neutral part, and hers is particularly nice and round. So maybe it’s just a matter of being lonely and horny.
He wonders what it would be like to squeeze her breasts. Would they be like any body part he’s felt before? What if he liked it? It would be so complicated to redefine his sexuality at this point. He’s probably embarrassingly old for this kind of confusion. And everyone knows him as gay, he’d have to explain it to everyone. Would some people think being gay had just been a phase? And what if he didn’tlike it? He couldn’t just use her as an experiment. That would be so unfair to her. But she did seem like she wanted to kiss him…
“Okay. That’s good.”
She puts her leg down, bumping her knee against him, and he gets out of her way so she can lay down flat and do one final stretch on the floor. The flaps of fabric of her skirt are fanned out on her stomach, and he has to consciously restrain himself from looking at her crotch. She grunts and arches her back with her arms over her head. Then she relaxes and says, “Do you want the first shower?”
He nods. “Sure. Thanks.”
He hurries into the bathroom, turns on the shower, and pauses a moment before stripping off his uniform. It feels indecent to be naked in Tina’s house while he’s having such lascivious thoughts, but it’s not like he can go without showering. Once he’s under the spray, he rinses his hair and rubs liquid soap all over his body. It feels good to wash away the sweat from practice, and the water soothingly massages his tired muscles. But his uncooperative cock isn’t getting any softer.
He thinks about masturbating. Maybe Tina wouldn’t be able to tell. Would the water block any sounds he might make? He wraps his hand around his cock and strokes it a couple times. It thickens and the slippery slide of his soapy fingers feels so good. He shuts his eyes and sighs with pleasure. But would he be able to finish quickly enough? He imagines himself desperately jerking off, but too nervous and paranoid to come, and spending so long in the shower that Tina easily guesses what he’s been doing. He’d never be able to live it down.
In the end he ignores his traitorous dick, now even harder than before and standing at attention, and finishes his shower.
Afterward he puts just a little gel into his hair (just enough to keep it from frizzing and poofing up all over the place, but hopefully not enough that it’s obvious that he’s done it) and puts on his pajamas. He lets Tina into the bathroom and gets out his phone to text Sam.
To Sam: Help!
To Blaine: Wassup
To Sam: I think maybe Tina wanted to kiss me tonight.
To Blaine: LOL Too bad ur not into girls
Blaine sits crosslegged on the hide-a-bed and tilts his head at his phone. He’s not surprised that Sam would just assume he’s not interested in Tina, but he’s still annoyed. Maybe he should say something. He could say “Actually I think I wanted to kiss her too.” He decides to test the waters first.
To Sam: What should I do?
To Blaine: Let her down easy. She knows ur gay so nbd. Tell her shes awesome but it won’t work out.
Blaine frowns. He feels silenced by Sam’s certainty. How does he even respond to that? He hears the water turn off as he sits there contemplating.
To Sam: Thanks Sam.
To Blaine: Np
To Sam: I have to go. Have a good night!
To Blaine: Ttyl
Tina comes out of the bathroom in her pink plaid pajamas and goes around shutting out lights before joining Blaine on the hide-a-bed. They each get under the covers on their own side, not touching, and Blaine lies as flat and still as he can, suddenly hyper-aware of the sound of his breath. He tries to breathe quietly, which seems to just make it worse.
Tina snorts a chuckle out into the darkness. “Okay, is there some weird tension happening or is it just me?”
Blaine covers his eyes, even though it’s dark. “Oh god, sorry! It’s not just you. Everything is weird!”
She cracks up. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
Blaine takes a couple deep breaths, then removes his hand from his eyes. “I think I might be having a sexual identity crisis.”
“Is this like that time with Rachel?”
“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
She gropes for his shoulder under the blanket and then shoves him weakly. “Make up your mind!”
“Tina, this isn’t funny!” He rolls onto his side to face her and finds that he can see a bit better now. He can’t make out her expression but he can see that she’s on her side facing him too. “I’m actually really confused right now. Which I guess is a lot like what happened with Rachel, but that got resolved really quickly after she kissed me.”
He can hear the smile in her voice when she says: “Then maybe we should kiss.”
He strains his eyes to see whether she’s joking, but he just can’t tell. “I don’t - That doesn’t seem fair. To you. What if I don’t like it?”
“Then I will have gotten to kiss you.”
“Honestly? You’d be okay with… just a kiss?”
“Honestly. Don’t worry about me.” There’s a hint of a giggle in her voice. “Just helping you to not be confused anymore is reward enough for me.”
He shuffles a bit, feeling too hot under the covers. “Okay.” He can see the silhouette of her hair, and he reaches out to touch it, to get a sense of where her face is. He scoots forward a bit too quickly and bumps his nose against her cheek before readjusting and kissing her mouth. He can tell that she’s still grinning and he thinks for a moment that it isn’t going well, but then she kisses back and her hand is on his chest and her legs are pressed right up against his and oh god, he’s humiliated but his cock is twitching against her body and this is exactly what he wanted. He moans out loud and she pulls back to shush him.
“We have to be quiet.”
He whispers, “Sorry.” He runs his fingers through her hair, which is delightfully long and silky, and they kiss some more. It feels good, closer to what being drunk with Rachel had been like than being sober. Tina is aggressive, just a little bit forceful, and pleasure shoots through him when she nibbles his lip.
She pushes him onto his back and gets on top. “Okay?”
He nods eagerly. “Yes.” He strains his neck up to kiss her hard as she straddles him and grinds down against him. It feels so hot between her legs. He bucks his hips up to meet her thrusts, panting against her open mouth. The hide-a-bed creaks and creaks with every movement but Blaine doesn’t care, he just needsmore. He slides one hand down to grip her ass and pull her tighter against him.
She rocks forward and back, forward and back, and he’s desperate for more, kissing and kissing her, bucking his hips. The bedframe bangs against the wall and all at once everything stops. He pants and his lungs heave as they both lie very quietly and listen.
His cock twitches, straining up against Tina’s crotch. One of his hands is in Tina’s hair and the other is on her ass, and he doesn’t dare move. He strains to hear the slightest noise from upstairs.
Tina whispers, “I think it’s safe.” She huffs out a laugh and collapses against his neck, which - oh! Shouldn’t feel as good as it does. Blaine squirms and tilts his head to give her better access.
“Kiss my neck?”
She doesn’t just kiss, she sucks it as well, and gently bites the sensitive place by his collar bone. He jerks his hips.
“Oh, keep going -“
She whispers, “Blaine, I can’t - We have to be quiet…”
“Please don’t stop.”
She keeps going, kissing his neck and grinding down more carefully and slowly than before. He can feel himself losing control, and he knows if he was on top, he’d be mindlessly fucking down against her, heedless of the banging the bedframe would make against the wall. He humps upward and throws his head back, his breath harsh and uneven in the quiet room.
She switches her movements to small, quick jerks of her hips, gasping and grunting, and suddenly there’s hot wetness all over Blaine’s cock and stomach and thighs. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt, and his body surges and spasms as he comes and comes, holding on to her tight. She keeps going, her voice making soft high pitched “Nnh, nnh” sounds in her throat as she keeps grinding down.
She collapses on top of him, squirming in the wetness, and they lie there panting, clutching each other, giggling into each other’s necks. His pajamas are sticking to him and he feels silly because he just showered, but he feels so good.
“So…” Tina speaks normally, the whispering somehow less important now. “How did the experiment go?”
He laughs. “Um. I kind of want to do it again.”
“Because it was inconclusive, or…?”
“Mostly because you made me come my brains out, but we can say it was inconclusive, sure.”
“Yessss.” She does a little fistpump in the air, and rolls off of him. “Ugh, I need another shower.”
Blaine pushes the blanket off to keep it from getting damp. “Is it always this messy?”
“Only when I really really enjoy myself. I can put a towel down.”
“Or we could sleep in your room?”
She laughs happily. “We’ll have to be extremely careful not to let my mom know anything’s up. The only reason you’re allowed to sleep over here is that you’re gay.”
“So, you’re thinking about keeping our relationship a secret?”
She goes still and turns to face him. “…You’re thinking about us having a relationship?”
Blaine sits up. “…Wow.” He reaches out to stroke her hair. “Yeah. I am.”
She bounces in place on the mattress excitedly. “Well, we don’t have to keep it a secret, but we have a good thing going with the sleepovers, so…”
“Agreed. Let’s tell everyone who’s not likely to tell your mom.”
She grabs her phone and grins. “Sweet. Can I text Sugar?”
“Only if I can text Sam.”
Blaine shakes his head and sends off a text.
To Sam: So it looks like I’m kind of dating Tina now.
To Blaine: LOL Thats not what I ment when I said let her down easy
To Sam: Yeah, it turns I really like her. A lot.
To Blaine: So much for our first gay guy prez.
To Sam: Sorry about that. :P
To Blaine: I’m happy for you bro. :D
To: Sam: Thanks!
He’s so relieved. He wishes Sam goodnight and wonders how things will go at school, finding himself feeling hopeful, not anxious. He ponders the possibilities as he shuts off his phone.
It’s been almost two years since he kissed Rachel and decided once and for all that he’s one hundred percent gay, but tonight, for the first time since then, he thinks he might be more like… seventy percent gay. As he kisses Tina once more and heads to the bathroom to clean up, smiling the whole time, he decides he is definitely okay with that.